8 Tips for Surviving a Renovation (Without fighting with your husband)
It’s been over two years since we started our renovation, and don’t get me wrong, I’ve loved almost every bit of it. Because I’m a self-declared, handy woman with a type-A personality, and Dave’s a passionate guy who works as a tradesman, We’ve started a few projects and within minutes we have started bickering. We have differing opinions on a lot of things, I like to focus on both design and function, Dave is all function. Even when it comes to art and wall décor, I show dave things I like and he says “What the F@$K is that?” I always just say “Art!” and laugh… challenges.
They don’t call renovations ‘divorce dust’ for no reason, so here are some of my tips for making it through a reno with your spouse. I mean, you can wing it if you want, but just be forewarned, there will be some challenges!
Develop a clear plan: keep in mind you will have to be nimble, but having a clear plan of what your overall renovation will look like, will give you a chance to align together before the work gets started.
Assign tasks: I found our biggest problems would arise when I would meddle in things Dave was doing, once we’d have our little arguments, I’d walk away and let him do what he wanted, and all turned out okay.
Pick your battles: ask yourself, is this something that is going to make or break the renovation? If not, let it be and walk away.
Compromise: It’s important to understand priorities of your partner and know what makes the most sense for both of you. Bouncing different ideas off each other will only bring more ideas to the table.
Split the costs: finances are one of the pieces of the puzzle that I find can cause the biggest bone of contention. Talk about your finances up front and figure out who’s covering what. This eliminates the cost from being a bone of contention between you.
Dedicate some time to each other: Since this has been on-going for so long, and taken up so much of our money, we have struggled to focus in on building our relationship, as we got through big tasks, like installing our cabinets, we’d celebrate with a nice dinner, or we’d take a night or two and splurge on a little getaway somewhere nearby.
Avoid screaming! This one is hard. I won’t lie. The day we tried to install crown moulding, Dave and I were into a battle before we had the first piece nailed into the ceiling. We quickly decided our best plan was to stop what we were doing, because doing it together was going to be sloppy. I let Dave and his friend finish it! Ha.
Remember you love each other.
Even if you follow along with these, theres still no guarantee you wont have a little spat here and there, but it should help you re-focus your energy onto getting the project done, rather than winning the fights.