Is that a heart beating?
Today is the end of week 6. 6 weeks and 6 days of this craziness have come and gone and left a lasting impression for both of us. We still don’t know if we’ll make it to the end of this journey, but we are so optimistic and hopeful that we will.
much like the past few weeks, it’s been a pretty symptomless time for me, but man do I love sleep! Night time, day time, all day, you name it, I love it! Today after my ultrasound I took a two hour nap, sorry folks; that took priority over writing a blog update! Thank goodness I took the day off. I needed it. The drives to and from work are getting longer, or at least it feels that way, as my bladder gets smaller. I foresee some pit stops on my commute in the next few months, because the hour or hour and fifteen minutes is a long time for this poor little pee pouch to go without relief!
I don’t know if last night was my first pregnancy craving or just me wanting ice cream, I have always had a bit of a sweet tooth, but at 2:00 I decided I needed to go to Dairy Queen, and I did not want to wait for it. I did, but ended up having a balanced dinner of a Smartie Blizzard. (Yeah, I’m an adult! Don’t judge me.) DQ, you and I will see each other plenty over the next few months.
As we came into today, all I wanted to see was a heart beat. I didn’t think about what else could be going on in there, just give me a baby with a beating heart, and I felt like I was going to feel a sense of relief. We arrived around 9:40, after a LONG drive in, with a bladder so full, I was dancing in my seat. The ultrasound tech brought me back, and told Dave to stay in the waiting room. I was prepared for this. someone had explained it to me. I knew they liked to get their measurements before showing anyone what was going on. On the walk back to the room I clarified “he can come see it after right?” She said “we’ll see”. I assumed this meant, it was dependent on it there was a heart beat, but she said “it’s early, it may not bad easy to see”. I didn’t care, if there was a heartbeat, I wanted him to see it.
The first thing the tech said when I laid on the table was that I didn’t need to drink as much water next time. I didn’t even finish a full litre as I was instructed to, my bladder was too full. I feel my bladder is already got pressure on it that it’s never had in the past, I’m making due, but I was very relieved when they let me empty it!
When I came back to the room and stripped down to my top only and hopped back onto the bed, with my legs up in the stirrups, trying to read her facial expressions. After five agonizing minutes, the screen on the ultrasound spun around and I got my first look at the little thing growing inside me.
I stared at it for a minute and then asked “is that the heart beating? She smiled and said yes. I felt so much relief. It still doesn’t feel real, but knowing there’s something in there gets me excited.
I asked if we could bring Dave in, and the tech was reluctant. I said “listen, it’s his kid too, he deserves to see it just as much as I do”, and off she went to grab him from the waiting room.
when he came in, I laughed, I told him I thought it would be funny to play a joke on him and make it seem like there were two babies in there. He laughed a sigh of relief that there isn’t, and watched the screen with me where we tried to soak in every last second of that beating heart, before they kicked us out. They can’t tell you much, but we met with the doctor shortly after, and he was smiling, a bigger smile than normal, but overall it calmed me.
“It looks perfect, it’s a boring ultrasound, which is exactly what I like to see.”
We sat down in his office and all I could focus on was the fact that the heart was beating. We went through a pretty basic report which outlines the size of the baby, measuring exactly where it should be, at 6 weeks, 6 days and he told us “it looks perfect, it’s a boring ultrasound, which is exactly what I like to see.” The fetal heart rate was strong at 130bpm and my cervix was long and closed.
He asked about my symptoms, which have been easy, talked briefly about me staying on progesterone for another 3 weeks. It was all a blur, as I was just in shock, and excited.
We are going back next week for a follow up scan to ensure the baby is still growing as expected. I’m not sure if this is normal protocol with our doctor, or due to the smaller than average gestational sac it appears to have. The doctor didn't mention this as a concern, but after a bit of research, It seems normal to monitor this weekly for progress.
I have had so many people reaching out to me today to check on me and how today went, and it means so much from the bottom of my heart to feel the love. I think the baby feels it too.
And for all you moms out there, I have so much respect and appreciation for you all, this is the weirdest, most ambiguous, hardest thing I have ever had to do, and all of you have done it, once, twice even threw or four times. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with me.